It wasn't until this morning when I realized that I didn't really fit into anything anymore. The sweater I threw on because the rest of the shirts were at the cleaners is about a size too small, which is embarrassing since it's an XL. The elastic waist band certainly doesn't do any good either, and my stomach is peaking over the size 38 pants I'm wearing. Granted - I'm tall, I hold it well, but not THAT well.
If this is disgusting to you - I certainly understand why. It's VERY disgusting to me. And it IS ME! I'm so glad that I'm throwing this all away now. There is no reason to be fat. You can make healthy choices - you can make smart decisions. It's about will power, and putting down the remote and putting on some walking shoes. Driving to the grocery store rather than the drive thru of Burger King.
I can do this. I will do this!
I made a better list of priorities today - and a list of goals that I think I can achieve. I have a vacation planned for August, then another for September. I want to be able to wear shorts this summer, I want to be able to feel good in my vacation clothes - maybe even stop in for some shopping? I know I can do it - I will do it.
So: Start date (or re-start date) is 5/18 @ 257.2 pounds. So far, I'm right on track. No soda today - and I'm not quite feeling the effects of no caffeine yet. I've had 1 12oz. bottle of water - and will take another with me when I leave for lunch in the next few minutes to keep me from stopping for soda on the way back into the office. I've got an exercise plan written with a friend who I know will make me follow it - she needs to follow it too. So the hope is that by 5/25 - next Monday, a week from today, I will have lost 7.2 pounds, putting me at exactly 250 or a few ounces below. I know that's 7 pounds in one week - but I can do it. I know I can.
Then, by 6/1, the following Monday and two weeks in (not concentrating on a strict diet - but a livable one) I'll be at 244. It goes down the line til the end of June and into July. On July 11th, I have a thing planned, and I'm sure we'll be doing something for July 4th. So - I need to be able to fit into the white shorts I have waiting in the wings (a waist size 36) by 7/1 COMFORTABLY. Meaning that I need to lose atleast 3-4" around my waist in that month and a half.
*ASIDE* I remember buying those shorts - thinking, gosh you're getting heavy. A 36?!?! I asked myself. Now I am aching to be able to fit back into them - no way to even button them now. Not so funny.
Ok - so here's the breakdown:
5/18 - 257.2
5/25 - 250.0 or lower (loss of 7.2)
6/1 - 244 or lower (loss of 13.2)
6/8 - 235 or lower (loss of 22.2)
6/15 - 229 or lower (loss of 28.2)
6/22 - 222 or lower (loss of 35.2)
6/29 - 218 or lower (loss of 39.2)
7/6 - 212 or lower (loss of 45.2)
Now - somewhere between 200 and 212 is where I'd like to find myself comfortably resting for a long long while. It's not super skinny for me as I'm 6'2 and very broad, naturally sort of muscular especially in the lower half. But that's where I can fit nicely into a 34" waist and tuck things in comfortably without feeling like an overweight cow.
So - now let's see if I can stick to this. 45 pounds in less than 2 months. I think I can do it. No- I CAN AND I WILL DO IT !
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
257.2 - Starting Today
That's it ... I've had enough. I start today - no excuses. A life change - a turn away from numbers above 210, and away from pants sized above a 34 and shirts bigger than a Large. It's time that I take back my life, my body, my pride and happiness from the squallor I've left it in these past few years.
The goal: 47 pounds - short term, 57.2 eventually. Hopefully by the end of July. I know - it seems out of reach - but that's plenty of time ... it's barely the middle of May. I'm going to post losses weekly, and weigh weekly. A change from the prior daily loss posting and daily weighing. I need to be welcomed by larger numbers ... and I think I can do it. No, I know I can do it ... and I will! I will!
The hardest part: cutting out soda. Even though it's diet - it's not healthy, it's not going to help you lose weight - don't buy into what they say! It's awful for your body - it sends you searching for sugar to fill the empty calories. You can't mess with the way your body was meant to work like that. I'm done ... DONE with soda, diet or otherwise. DONE!
This week - well, for the next few weeks, til' I'm down to 227.2 pounds or lower, I'm going to really take it full force. Eating moderately on the diet I was on before - but also adding in some leafy greens and whole wheat rice and pastas - that will most likely come later. The rewards are great - self confidence, feeling like the old me ... being "hot" again. I want this. I WANT THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING! I'd quit my job to be able to work out with a trainer for 3-4 hours a day, that's how bad I want this!
I know I can do it. I know I can. I will ... just watch me.
The goal: 47 pounds - short term, 57.2 eventually. Hopefully by the end of July. I know - it seems out of reach - but that's plenty of time ... it's barely the middle of May. I'm going to post losses weekly, and weigh weekly. A change from the prior daily loss posting and daily weighing. I need to be welcomed by larger numbers ... and I think I can do it. No, I know I can do it ... and I will! I will!
The hardest part: cutting out soda. Even though it's diet - it's not healthy, it's not going to help you lose weight - don't buy into what they say! It's awful for your body - it sends you searching for sugar to fill the empty calories. You can't mess with the way your body was meant to work like that. I'm done ... DONE with soda, diet or otherwise. DONE!
This week - well, for the next few weeks, til' I'm down to 227.2 pounds or lower, I'm going to really take it full force. Eating moderately on the diet I was on before - but also adding in some leafy greens and whole wheat rice and pastas - that will most likely come later. The rewards are great - self confidence, feeling like the old me ... being "hot" again. I want this. I WANT THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING! I'd quit my job to be able to work out with a trainer for 3-4 hours a day, that's how bad I want this!
I know I can do it. I know I can. I will ... just watch me.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Back to where I started ...
3 months ago I started this blog, hoping to lose 50 pounds. After just 2 weeks, 20 pounds washed itself away and I made huge realizations about my eating habits ... sadly, even those realizations and the weightloss didn't help keep me from ballooning back up to where I started: 251.6 pounds.
I know that I'm not the only one with this problem - how can I be? I know that I'm not obese, but overweight certainly - and I need to lose this weight to get back into a comfortable place (in my life, and my pants!)
I wasn't dieting sensibly before - made obvious by the rapid weight gain after the rapid weight loss. A no-carbohydrate diet and tons of exercise worked in getting the pounds off - 20+, but it didn't keep me from gaining everything back once I stopped eating chicken, and gave in to pizza, burgers, and fast food drive thru's.
The weight came back almost as fast as it went - in less than 2 weeks, I was back into the 230's teetering the line to 240, and now - I'm above the 250 mark, again. My goal - is to be down to 200 by the end of June. We have a planned thing in the early part of July, and I'd like to be in a particular pair of shorts by then. You see - I used to be thin, never too thin, but thin enough. My 6'2 broad frame, looks best in a 34" waisted pant, and even though I've worn a 31" in the not to distant past - I feel better, and look better when I'm boasting a loose 34. Honestly, I'm pushing the seems of a 38, and a 36 - let alone a 34 doesn't seem in my near future. But, I have to do something - and I'll do what I know works for me.
I'll get back into exercise - running with the dogs, walking with my friends, and doing the beachbody tapes ... before you know it I'll be down 20 pounds and feeling great ... but the trick, the test, is ... STAYING ON THAT TRACK! I have an obvious problem with sabotaging the loss after getting to about 20 pounds gone. Not only is that completely damaging to my psyche, but also to my body. I shouldn't be yo-yo-ing as I do.
So - the goal: 34" shorts by the end of June, loosely worn with a shirt tucked in - and a move toward a healthier life, and a lower number on the scale - somewhere nearer to 200, between 200 - 210.
Care to join me, again?
I know that I'm not the only one with this problem - how can I be? I know that I'm not obese, but overweight certainly - and I need to lose this weight to get back into a comfortable place (in my life, and my pants!)
I wasn't dieting sensibly before - made obvious by the rapid weight gain after the rapid weight loss. A no-carbohydrate diet and tons of exercise worked in getting the pounds off - 20+, but it didn't keep me from gaining everything back once I stopped eating chicken, and gave in to pizza, burgers, and fast food drive thru's.
The weight came back almost as fast as it went - in less than 2 weeks, I was back into the 230's teetering the line to 240, and now - I'm above the 250 mark, again. My goal - is to be down to 200 by the end of June. We have a planned thing in the early part of July, and I'd like to be in a particular pair of shorts by then. You see - I used to be thin, never too thin, but thin enough. My 6'2 broad frame, looks best in a 34" waisted pant, and even though I've worn a 31" in the not to distant past - I feel better, and look better when I'm boasting a loose 34. Honestly, I'm pushing the seems of a 38, and a 36 - let alone a 34 doesn't seem in my near future. But, I have to do something - and I'll do what I know works for me.
I'll get back into exercise - running with the dogs, walking with my friends, and doing the beachbody tapes ... before you know it I'll be down 20 pounds and feeling great ... but the trick, the test, is ... STAYING ON THAT TRACK! I have an obvious problem with sabotaging the loss after getting to about 20 pounds gone. Not only is that completely damaging to my psyche, but also to my body. I shouldn't be yo-yo-ing as I do.
So - the goal: 34" shorts by the end of June, loosely worn with a shirt tucked in - and a move toward a healthier life, and a lower number on the scale - somewhere nearer to 200, between 200 - 210.
Care to join me, again?
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